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Church slams door on gay vet’s funeral

By David W. Shelton | August 12, 2007 |

 Update: Grieving partner tells his side of the story - after the jump!

In one of the most blatant religious abuses seen this year, a church in Arlington, Texas offered to host a funeral for a man who served in the Gulf War. When they found out at the last minute that the man was gay, they backed out of the offer.

Cecil Sinclair, 46, was not a member of any church, but his brother Lee is both an employee and member of High Point, whose pastor is Rev. Gary Simons. Pastor Simons’ brother-in-law is the even more famous author and Pastor Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church in Houston, Texas.

The Dallas Morning News reported:

The pastor said that he could imagine a similar situation involving a different sin. Perhaps a mother who is a member of the church loses a son who is a thief or murderer, Mr. Simons said. The church would surely volunteer to hold a service, he said.“But I don’t think the mother would submit photos of her son murdering someone,” he said. “That’s a red light going off.”

It’s a red light going off, all right. It should be a red light to every Christian as to the true motives of those who are so adamant in their stand against “homosexuality.” The family had long since come to terms with their beloved veteran and his partner, and even accepted it. Yet this church refused to even appear to “condone” or “endorse” the “lifestyle.”

Kathleen Wright, Cecil’s sister, was a little more candid, as reported on msnbc.com:

“It’s a slap in the face. It’s like, ’Oh, we’re sorry he died, but he’s gay so we can’t help you,”’ she said Friday.Wright said High Point offered to hold the service for Sinclair because their brother is a janitor there.

The story later quoted Rev. Simons:

“We did decline to host the service - not based on hatred, not based on discrimination, but based on principle,” Simons told The Associated Press. “Had we known it on the day they first spoke about it - yes, we would have declined then. It’s not that we didn’t love the family.”

Interestingly, Wright also claimed that the church misrepresented the photos, saying that none of them had Sinclair “kissing or hugging” his partner.

This wasn’t about compassion, or even repentance. It was about honoring a local veteran who had served his community and his country. Cecil died before he could receive a much-needed heart transplant. In the midst of the family’s loss, this church slapped them around and kicked them while they were down.

There was absolutely nothing Christian about their behavior, and the members of this church and even all churches should ask themselves how such a cold shoulder has anything to do with the message that Jesus gave, which was to love even the unloved.

High Point Church’s website, http://www.churchunusual.com/ is a lesson in bitter irony, in that it is all too “usual” of modern evangelical churches which distort the reality that gay and lesbian people are an important part of today’s society. The 5,000-member church started with just a few members in 2000, and grew into the megachurch it is today. How much of its growth has been at the expense of people like Sinclair?

When will Christians start realizing that closing the door to the gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender (GLBT) community is the exact opposite of following Christ? The time has clearly come for us to stop demonizing the gay community and start embracing people no matter who they are.

Some major denominations have come to this realization, including the Episcopal Church, the United Churches of Christ, and now the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America. The ELCA has just passed a resolution that would allow gay pastors to serve openly, specifically saying to “not punish” pastors who identify as gay or lesbian.

Further, the topic of whether or not to embrace GLBT people will be discussed at the Methodist conference this year. Thankfully, churches are adding to a clear trend of embracing people no matter what, and we’re learning just how important this lesson of fairness is for everyone.

It’s too bad that Cecil Sinclair’s family had to experience the opposite.

As posted in www.skippingtothepiccolo.com

Update: Sinclair’s griving partner has told his side of the story:

Jeffrey Weiss, the Dallas Morning News writer who broke the story about how Cecil Sinclair’s funeral was initially offered by High Point church, which then reneged when it was discovered that Sinclair was gay, has provided more information in this story. His article on the Dallas News Religion blog shares more from Sinclair’s partner, Paul Wagner.

Weiss wrote that Wagner had put his story on the blog’s comments section, and posted it separately as it deserved more attention. This is a sentiment with which I agree. Wagner writes:

I am the partner of Cecil Sinclair who passed. It is unfortunate that the church has decided to tell untruths in order to make themselves feel better, or make their side of the story into a saner response. Hopefully more of the truth will come out in future articles or investigations.

First of all, let me start by stating that it was a member of the church who offered the use of their facility to us, on behalf of his brother who is/was a member of their congregation. I was introduced to this man as Cecil’s partner. To my knowledge, this person at least was fully aware that we were living openly as a couple. This same member of the church, when were later advised that we could not use the facilities, on his own, with money from his own pocket, not church coffers, went and procured another facility for the funeral. The church did not do so.

At no time did a member of the church contact us to indicate that they had a problem with any part of the service we were planning. We never had contact with the minister or any of the administration. On Tuesday morning, we gave the church a total of 83 various pictures of Cecil that were forwarded to us by various members of his family. Of those, not a single one showed a man hugging or kissing another man, nor were there any homosexual references.

Read the rest of Wagner’s comments here.

About David W. Shelton

Posts by David W. Shelton are copyright (c)2006, 2007, 2008 by the author. All rights reserved. David W. Shelton is a writer, speaker and activist in Clarksville, and serves on the Clarksville Human Relations Commission. His passions include film and complete equality for all people, and he has worked in various capacities to work toward this goal. He is currently an illustrator, graphic designer, trainer, and is the owner of Imagine Media Solutions. He is an Adobe® Certified Instructor in Photoshop®.

Web Site: http://www.skippingtothepiccolo.com/

Email: dwshelton@att.net

Sections: Issues, Politics, Spirituality
Topics: Cecil Sinclair, Gary Simons, High Point Church

7 Responses to “Church slams door on gay vet’s funeral”

1. Turner McCullough Jr. Says:
   August 12th, 2007 at 7:28 am

   Great story. Eye-opening hypocrisy. Even in death, sexuality can be the basis for discrimination. What a wasted opportunity to show compassion and comfort at a time of bereavement. Too bad this Arlington, Texas church failed to understand this was an opportunity to fulfill their mission. My condolence to Cecil’s partner, friends and family.

2. Christine Anne Piesyk Says:
   August 12th, 2007 at 9:56 am

   Thank you, David, for shining a light on this important story. Too often, churches who preach Christianity and love fail the test in real life. For too many churches, “Love thy neighbor” apparently comes with conditions, and forgiveness is selective. My heart goes out to the family who has had the burden of this abuse and rejection by fellow “Christians.”

3. csh589 Says:
   August 12th, 2007 at 1:04 pm

   There may be problems with how the church handled things, but they were totally in the right for refusing to hold the funeral. Bible believing Christians hold that homosexuality in sinful and immoral. This man led a sinful and non-repentant life. The church is the wrong place for this man’s funeral. Certainly the church should have followed through before it said it would hold the service. It probably did so for his brother who was a member. Most churches only hold funerals for their own members, so this would have been an exception already. Turner, how could this have been part of their mission? To celebrate the life of someone who they believe is in Hell? This goes against what Christ did! Certainly there should be a place for comforting the bereaved but having this funeral would at a minimum send mixed messages. Should the Church embrace sinners, be they gay, adulterers, drug users, etc? Yes, but the church is not there to condone their sins - It is there to preach repentance from sin. Unfortunately, too many liberal Churches have forgotten this and seek to make people ‘happy’ by letting them be comfortable with their sin.

4. Jeff Mack Says:
   August 12th, 2007 at 10:42 pm

   I’d have to agree with csh589. Maybe the church should have been more careful when making the offer. God does love ALL sinners, of that I’m personally thankful, but if sin goes unrepentant, God is a good judge, and sin will be judged. Here’s how you can look at it: You have just been convicted of a crime, your guilty. The judge and everyone in the courtroom knows your guilty, even you know your guilty. There is no arguing guilt. The judge says, if you pay restitution, you can go free. You have no money, and the judge being a good judge, sentences you to prison. If a judge was to let a guilty person go free, he would not be a good judge and he would not be fit to be a judge. Just as you are cuffed and being lead off to prison, a person you have never met before, speaks up and says “Judge, please wait, I’ll pay the fine.” This person pays your debt in full. Now that your fine is paid the judge says, “Set this person free.” You’d be pretty grateful to the person who paid your fine! Actully you’d be very grateful. Thats what Jesus has already done for all of us! Paid our fine for sin in full. And all you have to do is believe on Him and repent. Forgiveness is not selective. It is given as a free gift to all of those who ask for it, through Jesus Christ. The story doesn’t say whether the man who died was a Christian, it does say that his brother was a member of the church. It is unfortunate that this happened, but the church is well within it’s rights to do so. Not saying its good, it’s just unfortunate.

5. Jeff Mack Says:
   August 12th, 2007 at 10:51 pm

   The story does say the the person who died wasn’t a member of any church… Just a correction

6. David W. Shelton Says:
   August 14th, 2007 at 12:36 pm

   The bottom line here is that if you read Wagner’s comment, you’d know that the church made the offer of the funeral to him directly… that’s right. They called the gay man’s partner. They knew who he was. They knew of their relationship. It wasn’t any secret, either. No matter what your view of whether or not being gay is “sinful,” the simple fact is that the church made an offer and then reneged. Discussing soteriology here isn’t really relevant, in my opinion. It all boils down to a group of people who have no backbone.

7. mypayne Says:
   August 14th, 2007 at 2:28 pm

   “Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven.” A person’s mission in life involves not only the development and perfection of his own self and character but also his responsibility towards his fellow man. So why must we conclude that something is wrong with our fellow man? Our responsibility is to search our own heart until we discover what the Almighty would have us do to deal with our own imperfections and not those of others. To sense another’s guilt and lowliness is completely unnecessary; on the contrary, it only hinders our ability to reach out to them in a loving and tolerant manner. To give comfort in a time of sorrow. To give peace and love to the world is the responsibility of Christians. Didn’t Jesus go into the den of whores, liars and thieves?

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