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Local man makes evolutionary discovery

By Scott Beasley | August 19, 2008 |

A Clarksville resident, who for obvious reasons, wishes to remain anonymous, discovered a find of biblical proportions this week. Many of you have heard about the recent claims of Northern Georgia residents, Rick Dyer and Matt Whitton who say they’ve actually discovered the body of a “Big Foot” while hiking in the mountains of Georgia. Many skeptics doubt this find or view it as some kind of hoax. What’s NOT a hoax is the recent discovery of a local man.

Big Foot, on the crispy side

On the morning of August 15, the man was startled when a piece of toast emerged from his toaster bearing the image of the silhouette of the fabled monster affectionately known as “Big Foot”.

In an exclusive interview you will only read on Clarksville Online, I was able to secure an interview with the man. “I was just shocked”, said the local resident, “that’s the only way to put it.” He currently has the now famous piece of toast for sale on E Bay, and I asked him if this was some kind of joke. “No, this is the real thing, I just couldn’t believe my eyes”, he replied.

I asked if I could see the toast and actually put my hands on it. Reluctantly, he went over to his freezer and removed it with great care. I actually saw and touched this piece of toast, and it is REAL. I asked him how he could actually prove this, because it looks like someone just spray painted an image of bigfoot on a piece of toast. He told me that once the DNA evidence comes back, that should put all skepticism to rest.

You can view the toast auction at E Bay, but you have very little time left.

It’s this reporter’s opinion that this will either be a discovery talked about for years to come and Clarksville will be immortalized, or this is just another prank, albeit a very funny one.

About Scott Beasley

I was born in Charleston, SC. I moved to Tennessee in 1977 and into Clarksville in 1989. I am currently employed by a shipping company and recently got married. I am conservative in most of my political views and I oppose government waste with a passion. I believe in personal responsibility and accountability. As far as my stance on the issues, I am against abortion, against the death penalty, I believe we did the right thing by invading Iraq(but we've made many mistakes since that decision), I believe we are over-taxed by an inefficient government at all levels, and I'm against gay marriage(though I have no problem with homosexuality, I believe it should be called a civil union and they should have all the rights as married couples.) I abhor racism and believe Martin Luther King to be the greatest asset to civil rights this country has ever seen. I believe a person should be viewed by the content of their character rather than the color of their skin. I'm a Christian and believe the biggest problem in society today is abortion. I recently graduated from APSU and will now continue my education towards a degree in Political Science.




Web Site: http://www.myspace.com/beazgod
Email: beazgod@msn.com