Comments on: Anti-gay adoption bill filed, again http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/2009/02/04/anti-gay-adoption-bill-filed-again/ The voice of Clarksville, Tennessee Sun, 22 Nov 2009 20:33:04 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 hourly 1 By: mommaof3 http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/2009/02/04/anti-gay-adoption-bill-filed-again/comment-page-1/#comment-10748 mommaof3 Fri, 13 Feb 2009 04:37:20 +0000 http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/?p=15339#comment-10748 Wrong wrong wrong! Wrong wrong wrong!

]]> By: vaughn94 http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/2009/02/04/anti-gay-adoption-bill-filed-again/comment-page-1/#comment-10724 vaughn94 Tue, 10 Feb 2009 03:24:33 +0000 http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/?p=15339#comment-10724 Although, if I am to understand correctly, this bill would make it impossible for gay couples- or singles - and heterosexual couples living together to adopt even privately, you need to also understand it can be difficult for even straight single and married people to adopt in this stupid state of Tennessee. Unless a person wants to go through a lengthy and expensive private adoption, you have to be a puppet for the Department of Children's Services in order to adopt. You have to do exactly what it says and how it says to do it. YOU HAVE TO BE A FOSTER PARENT in order to adopt through the state or any other non-profit agency. Tennessee is accredited and all agencies that are helping foster and adopt children have to abide by DCS, they are under its thumb, so to speak. If you don't want to foster, if you can't be given the ability to foster from the state, you won't be adopting children in state custody -- whether it be in Tennessee or any other state. Children that cross that state line from other states are treated like they are children in the custody of Tennessee as soon as they cross it. You have to foster a child for six months to adopt that child. There is no exception (unless you are related to that child and DCS finds the mercy to ask a judge to waive that condition). If you, for any reason, lose your ability to foster and have your home closed "not in good standing" (that's how DCS labels "bad" foster parents) you will never be able to adopt a child while you live in Tennessee, whether in the custody of this state or another state -- relative child or not, Tennessee DCS does not care. Most foster parents do not realize how easy it is to lose that ability, to stumble and make a mistake by accident and break a policy or procedure. If it is a DCS worker's opinion that a foster parent has crossed that line, that opinion can close a home. We are in that situation right now, so I know. Once that closure has happened DCS is not willing to let you learn from your mistakes, DCS will not let you retrain and prove your worth to Tennessee as parents, it is permanent and there is no going back, and it will and does ruin one's ability to adopt children as a resident of Tennessee. That's unbearable for a couple who can't have children. It's a living hell for a couple who, thanks to DCS demanding they be foster parents first, know what it's like to have children in their home -- knowing what it's like to have laughter and love from small ones, and going back to a quiet childless life. We know, we are living that hell right here in Tennessee. When I, at good moments, calm down and don't take this personally, I become more objective about how others, even those who have never fooled with DCS, might be affected by this. How can a state MAKE someone be a foster parent in order to allow that person, or that couple to give a child a loving and secure home with a future, with roots, and with wings to fly into that future? Isn't it, in some way, violating a person's liberal rights, to withhold the right to adopt from them just because they can't or won't foster? There are many people out that who have what it takes to be wonderful foster parents. There are those who don't have the emotional strength to do so. There are those who don't wish to put their children through that emotional rollercoaster, but who still want to adopt a child in state's custody. Then there are those who simply don't want to be foster parents, period. Shouldn't they still be able to adopt one or more of Tennessee's children? If a couple can't be given the ability to be permenent foster parents (I mean by that to foster solely and foster children who aren't adoptable), why can't Tennessee make a difference between that and temporary fostering of a child in order to adopt that child? That supervisory period is just that pre-adoption, it's not fostering. It's a sad thing that one simple mistake can only be remedied by moving to another state and adopting a child from that state, where judgements are no so easily passed, and forgiveness, and room to make mistakes exists. Tennessee residents deserve to be able to adopt without fostering -- it's called Adopt Only. It does not surprise me that this state is so judgemental as to pass a bill that would mean the upheaval and placement disruption of hundreds of kids. This from a state that makes a point to be stern with foster parents about the effects of disruptions on children. Although, if I am to understand correctly, this bill would make it impossible for gay couples- or singles – and heterosexual couples living together to adopt even privately, you need to also understand it can be difficult for even straight single and married people to adopt in this stupid state of Tennessee.
Unless a person wants to go through a lengthy and expensive private adoption, you have to be a puppet for the Department of Children’s Services in order to adopt. You have to do exactly what it says and how it says to do it. YOU HAVE TO BE A FOSTER PARENT in order to adopt through the state or any other non-profit agency. Tennessee is accredited and all agencies that are helping foster and adopt children have to abide by DCS, they are under its thumb, so to speak. If you don’t want to foster, if you can’t be given the ability to foster from the state, you won’t be adopting children in state custody — whether it be in Tennessee or any other state. Children that cross that state line from other states are treated like they are children in the custody of Tennessee as soon as they cross it. You have to foster a child for six months to adopt that child. There is no exception (unless you are related to that child and DCS finds the mercy to ask a judge to waive that condition). If you, for any reason, lose your ability to foster and have your home closed “not in good standing” (that’s how DCS labels “bad” foster parents) you will never be able to adopt a child while you live in Tennessee, whether in the custody of this state or another state — relative child or not, Tennessee DCS does not care. Most foster parents do not realize how easy it is to lose that ability, to stumble and make a mistake by accident and break a policy or procedure. If it is a DCS worker’s opinion that a foster parent has crossed that line, that opinion can close a home. We are in that situation right now, so I know. Once that closure has happened DCS is not willing to let you learn from your mistakes, DCS will not let you retrain and prove your worth to Tennessee as parents, it is permanent and there is no going back, and it will and does ruin one’s ability to adopt children as a resident of Tennessee. That’s unbearable for a couple who can’t have children. It’s a living hell for a couple who, thanks to DCS demanding they be foster parents first, know what it’s like to have children in their home — knowing what it’s like to have laughter and love from small ones, and going back to a quiet childless life. We know, we are living that hell right here in Tennessee.

When I, at good moments, calm down and don’t take this personally, I become more objective about how others, even those who have never fooled with DCS, might be affected by this. How can a state MAKE someone be a foster parent in order to allow that person, or that couple to give a child a loving and secure home with a future, with roots, and with wings to fly into that future? Isn’t it, in some way, violating a person’s liberal rights, to withhold the right to adopt from them just because they can’t or won’t foster? There are many people out that who have what it takes to be wonderful foster parents. There are those who don’t have the emotional strength to do so. There are those who don’t wish to put their children through that emotional rollercoaster, but who still want to adopt a child in state’s custody. Then there are those who simply don’t want to be foster parents, period. Shouldn’t they still be able to adopt one or more of Tennessee’s children? If a couple can’t be given the ability to be permenent foster parents (I mean by that to foster solely and foster children who aren’t adoptable), why can’t Tennessee make a difference between that and temporary fostering of a child in order to adopt that child? That supervisory period is just that pre-adoption, it’s not fostering. It’s a sad thing that one simple mistake can only be remedied by moving to another state and adopting a child from that state, where judgements are no so easily passed, and forgiveness, and room to make mistakes exists. Tennessee residents deserve to be able to adopt without fostering — it’s called Adopt Only.

It does not surprise me that this state is so judgemental as to pass a bill that would mean the upheaval and placement disruption of hundreds of kids. This from a state that makes a point to be stern with foster parents about the effects of disruptions on children.

]]> By: Bill Larson http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/2009/02/04/anti-gay-adoption-bill-filed-again/comment-page-1/#comment-10716 Bill Larson Sun, 08 Feb 2009 03:09:59 +0000 http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/?p=15339#comment-10716 A <a href="http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=48382197975" target="_blank" rel="nofollow">Facebook group</a> has been founded to oppose this bill. <blockquote>Defeat Tennessee's Proposed Adoption Ban Organizations - Advocacy Organizations Size: 2,222 members New: 549 More Members, 2 Board Topics, 19 Wall Posts Updated: News Profile updated on Thursday</blockquote> A Facebook group has been founded to oppose this bill.

Defeat Tennessee’s Proposed Adoption Ban
Organizations – Advocacy Organizations

Size:
2,222 members
New:
549 More Members,
2 Board Topics,
19 Wall Posts
Updated:
News

Profile updated on Thursday

]]> By: Mombian: Sustenance for Lesbian Moms » Blog Archive » Weekly Political Roundup http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/2009/02/04/anti-gay-adoption-bill-filed-again/comment-page-1/#comment-10713 Mombian: Sustenance for Lesbian Moms » Blog Archive » Weekly Political Roundup Fri, 06 Feb 2009 19:52:07 +0000 http://www.clarksvilleonline.com/?p=15339#comment-10713 [...] Tennessee State Senator Paul Stanley (R-Memphis) filed a bill that would prohibit adoption by any individual “cohabiting outside of a marriage that is valid under the constitution and laws of this state.” [...] [...] Tennessee State Senator Paul Stanley (R-Memphis) filed a bill that would prohibit adoption by any individual “cohabiting outside of a marriage that is valid under the constitution and laws of this state.” [...]

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