Saying NO Doesn’t Make You a Less Godly Person

By Kris Wolfe | March 24, 2013 |

Clarksville, TN – Women are the worst about this. Don’t even pretend you haven’t said yes to something, got in the car, and thought, “What have I done? How do I get out of this?”

So why’d you say yes to begin with?

Perhaps you:

1. Like pleasing others and making them happy
2. Want the approval of others
3. Want the respect of others
4. Want to prove you can do it
5. Are afraid they’ll ask someone else if you say no
6. Are afraid to be “left out” of anything
7. Won’t get another chance if you pass on this one

I am guilty of all 7 of those “saying yes” sins.  Here is what I have to remind myself of in response to each of these:

1. There are over 7 billion people on earth. You can’t please them all, nor should you try.
2. God’s approval is enough. I repeat, His approval is all we need. He used adulterers, murderers and persecutors to do His good. He can use you.
3. We all want respect but when we take on tasks or responsibilities to earn the respect of others, we are falling into a trap. Once you achieve a goal, they are likely to up the ante. This is a vicious cycle that can damage your self-esteem and make us lose focus of our priorities.
4. We often love a challenge. But proving you are superman or wonder women will likely leave you exhausted, resentful and unfulfilled.
5. This is my doozer saying yes sin. I have been afraid that someone else will get to do “my thing” and that I will be jealous of them. And in fact, that came true at times; until I realized that maybe, at the time, they were better suited that I.
6. I have a dear friend who doesn’t want to be left out of anything. She says yes to everything. But God has gifted her with so many talents, she will never be at a shortage for opportunities. She is more likely to be at a shortage for rest, or for time with God to hear from Him what He really wants for her.
7. There are plenty of opportunities to go around for everyone. You will be asked again for something similar, or something better. If it is ordained by God, it will keep popping back up. If you surrender to God, it will happen in His time.

3 EASY ways to say no (or to at least have a chance to say meaningful yeses). Say:

1. “Give me a couple of days to think about it” (and actually take 2 days to let it all soak in)
2. “Let me talk about it with my _____________” (spouse, kids, parents, etc)
3. “Can I pray about it?” (now pray about it)

And remember in the end to honor your priorities, your health, and your faith.

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