FreeThinker founder Debbie Boen created this striking Obama signs for the Nov. 4 election.

As I was driving to the Icehouse café on Tuesday night, NPR (National Public Radio) said something about declaring Obama and I didn’t get what had happened.  I walked into the cafe and everyone was watching the big screen TV.  There was a screaming crowd on the TV set.  The scream of happiness from the TV crowd of thousands didn’t stop and seemed to shake the earth.  I swear I could feel the vibration of it come from the earth into my body.  Miranda Herrick ran up to me and said, “Did you hear what just happened?  Obama is declared a winner!  Why are we NOT screaming?  Why are we NOT screaming?”  and with that we both started screaming and again and again.

Hugs.  Screaming.  Jumping up and down.  Tears.  Stacy Smith Segovia took a picture of me being excited.  I realized that this was personal history:  me feeling truly excited.

Gikuyu and I talked.  I forgot how to feel exhilaration, I said.  It’s so unfamiliar.  Brandt Hardin sat down with tears in his eyes.  Each of them had a respect for me and the work I had been doing for several years.  Miranda had given me the place to hold the first meeting of the Freethinkers (for peace and civil liberties).  Gikuyu and Brandt put together the Tour of Wurdz and used it to give people their voices of dissent.  Brandt’s political art show Tuesday night at the Icehouse was made on the pages of the tiny Bill of Rights that I had given him.  (do go see it!)

Last night seemed like a first time I had dared to feel.  For the last four to six years my life has been riding on a horrible dread that I had to push down in order to function.  The happiness I felt had been forced.  I hadn’t been all the way HERE.  Finding humor had to be rediscovered.  Finding the good in things had become a destiny for personal health and for the health of the community.  Being a part of Clarksville Online had become a most valuable and commendable asset to our community in that line.

Maybe instead of getting all worked up, I should have chosen to be “dumb and happy,” as my father-in-law likes to say.  But when those planes flew into the towers my husband and I thought, “Oh no.  What is he (Bush) going to use this to do?”

When my daughter got married, I was happy for her but secretly hoping that she would not bring children into this future.  When we celebrated holidays, it was a forced happiness for me.  I can’t say everything was phony because some of my richest experiences were about the dissention we were able to cause and the celebrations we had despite oppression.  I’m going to say that the bad things this country has been doing is yet to be exposed.  The stuff we already know is nothing compared to what is hidden.  We were lucky to have had the torture and such exposed.  It always interests me how bad it had gotten and how many still did nothing and how many still supported it.  How low does it have to get to really shock some into action?

Candlelight Vigil at the Eternal Flame

Knowledge is power although we each had to struggle with our own feelings of dread related to it and how much action we could take in the face of that dread.  Most of us are bound to not go down being stupid.  The events the Freethinkers did run, vigils and protests, had a double purpose of dissension and also of moving our bodies.  Taking one step, one honk, one appearance to a function that puts motion into the body again.  Move.  Despite.  Opposition.  We made ourselves find a forced feeling of safety when we felt threatened to shut up.  It was too much like the Nazi’s and I think you know that.  Having our neighbors threaten us.  Having our neighbors dehumanize us for disagreeing.  Having no media.

Our country had taken a wrong path at the crossroads.  Like someone who chooses crime as a path, if you go down the wrong path too long it can become impossible to turn back.  You get caught, get thrown in jail.  Your bad record gets created and the hole gets deeper and harder to climb out of.  This wrong path could have been continued but instead we, as a country, chose to turn around and go back.  Go back to the crossroads and chose a different path.  A path of decency instead of war and bullying.  Maybe it was necessary to experience the wrong path for awhile.  How many thousands died because of it.  It was a scary wrong path.  Like the other wrong paths we try not to think about:  the genocides of Native Americans, of women during the witch trials, the Jews, the Crusades and so many more.

So thanks to America for not being happy in lower states of fear and bullyness.  You demand better.  Several of the folks who got the tally at different Clarksville voting precincts found that Obama lost to McCain by only a few votes.  I’m sure he did really well in Nashville.  That is success!

Last night I was very happy to be with others who saw Michael Moore in Nashville just before the election of 2004.  We’ve all had this core feeling of dissent since that event.  The Michael Moore fireball really woke me up to what action is possible.  After the election of 2004 several of us put together the Clarksville Freethinkers for Peace and Civil Liberties.  I gave workshops on understanding apathy and moving through the emotions up to positive anger.  I bought mini Bill of Rights books to hand out.  Mary Alice and I started a newsletter.  We held meetings at the library.  Held weekly vigils in public square about the war for a year.  Joined in MoveOn efforts.  Several people wrote letters to the editor of the Leaf (Chronicle).  Joined Gathering to Save our Democracy in their attempts to get verifiable elections in Tenn.  Went to Democrat meetings.  Went to war protests in Nashville. Went to civil rights meetings.  Made signs.  Made art.  Sat at the parks with statistics of the war signs.  Turned our backs on the Bush motorcade when it passed through Kentucky.  Did this when the Democrat Party and most of the country acted frozen.

Some of the many others who inspired me were:

• My grandfather and the one time I heard him tell a friend how Hitler destroyed his opposition.  Grandpa loved this country more than anyone I know and he showed me that I still had the power and necessity to do something now, before it’s too late.
  

  Boen lights a candle at the Eternal Flame

• Bernie Ellis and Gathering to Save our Democracy for speaking the truth and doing something about election fraud.  By the next major election, Tennessee will have verifiable voting machines.
• Cindy Sheehan, a warrior just like us, who was determined to bring Bush down and did it when she broke through the main stream media wall.
• Chris Lugo who put together and reported on peaceful dissention to the war.
• Christine Pieysk who turned a breeze into a flurry of powerful action and words.
• Bill Larson who created ClarksvilleOnLine; what a gift to our city and to our voices!
• Civil Liberty leaders Terry and Wanda McMoore.
• Turner McCullough.  David Shelton.  Blayne Clement and Kim.  Tom Payne.  Beth and Faith Robinson.  Jill Eichhorn.
• Sarah of Boulder.  David Boen.  Randall Boen.  Alma Sanford.  Miyo and Jordi Kachi.  Nancy and Daren.  Gerry Gilman (go, go, go!).  Deborah Bowles.  Kitty.  Beverly.  Barry, Ted and Hannah Kitterman.  Tracy Diven.  Leslie Pierce. Gregg Schlanger (creator of the Eternal Flame monument, “Pillar of Clouds, Pillar of Fire”).
• MoveOn.org who united this country.
• The web which did the real reporting. So many others!

Others who inspired life:  Annette Cunningham, UU Clarksville, APSU, ARTZ and Gabriele and Bob Wardeiner, Tom Thayer and John McDonald of the Roxy Regional Theatre, Downtown Artist’s Co-op, NYC, Silke’s, The Looking Glass, Tandoor, Suva and Jack Bastin.

I feel like I have awoke from a nightmare.  Am I all the way awake yet?  Will I remember just how bad it got?  Will I learn?

Before the next step I feel the need to really, really celebrate.

This is not an ending but a (difficult) climbing out of the hole and creating a new beginning.  Time to put on a different pair of shoes.

Again I thank Clarksville Online for being 3 steps ahead in that game.

Thanks to you for being on (this mailing list).  In connection there is definite power.

We who gathered this time are all disconnected from the war, in the way that we are not relatives of anyone enlisted. But we know co-workers, students, clients, neighbors and acquaintances who are connected with the military. We are surrounded by military.

David and I read Christine Piesyk’s recently published poem, Songs, written for vigil we held 1,000 soldier fatalities ago. The pain of picking up all the pieces of war from Vietnam to Iraq, is potent angst; something that you never want to have to do again. It is unfair for wars to take our best, chop them up and dump them back on our society, often as shells of their former selves, haunted by the war they waged in the name of duty. We who oppose the war have good reason to do so.

There is no good bomb. There is no good war, said my Grandmother, who survived WWI as a child in Germany. We who gather are in between, in between the “nothing is going on” stance of the media, and the overwhelming way the war rages on. In attendance this time were all middle class white Americans with one veteran. Three of our group were under 18. On this occasion, all of us except the vet, are Unitarian Universalists (UU’s).

In 2004 when we held a vigil once a week, people drove by who applauded us while other people cussed us out. I used to think about those who cussed us out: “Someday you’ll be cussing us out for not doing more, for not stopping this war.” The complainers will always be just the complainers, never bridging the connection to action because they come from a victim space. I have more respect for the group who counter-demonstrated our vigil once, thinking we were dangerous. I applaud their ability to take action and they treated us with respect.

Almost every time we did a vigil, most of us really didn’t want to go. I would get stomach aches. I put this one off until the last minute because I didn’t want to face it. But we understand that it is the doing of something that matters. When overwhelmed, doing something, some little thing, is to feel some sense of power left, and it puts out the message that there is another voice.

What is sad is that we, a group of eleven opposers of war, are the only ones holding a ceremony about this tragedy. A lot of us feel that the sense of helplessness about the war overwhelms our sense of purpose. But all of us agree that even when we don’t want to go, but do go, we always get something out of it, which seems selfish.

Marilyn sang a Girl Scouts’ song to us that girl scouts were not allowed to sing during time of war.  When one candle grows dim, may the candle of another light the way. We gather strength by the action of doing something. We face the reality of this war, there is no rah, rah, involved, and facing that is a most overwhelming process. We do not choose to feel depressed about it all the time. But it is appropriate to feel sad about this, Barry says.

The eternal flame is downtown’s only acknowledgment to the current war. Yesterday the flame atop the eternal flame was not lit, an insult to all veterans. Today it is lit. We would like to think ClarksvilleOnLine’s complaints and our vigil had something to do with getting the flame lit again. The war is to the point where the army base is like an invisible sucking hole. It’s grown more invisible, more obviously gapping. No one speaks about the obvious war. Wives “keep it together” somehow for the kids.

Our “volunteer” army of today is mostly married men and women with children, whereas in Vietnam they were mostly single, often draftees. Jill said whether we choose to think about the war or not, it is our problem. The soldiers who come back and try to fit in to our society will affect all of us, and their problems will be our problems.

A few of us still feel angst about the idea that others will view us as not supporting the troops in doing this kind of vigil for them. They still feel the division that permeates the “support the troops” crowd who originally meant that they support the war and the winning of it.

The division of people’s thinking, liberal and conservative, is something we have pushed the edge of since starting this movement. Conservatives calling us liberals had the upper bullying hand in this area, although it’s conservative to not want to go to war. It used to be Christian conservative. Don’t ask a conservative to say they were wrong about the war.

If we started with the purpose of driving that wrongness home we are beyond that. We are tired of being “right” and we want this injury to stop. We realize that the division between us was skillfully permeated by the media and our own government.

For us it’s always been about challenging the division, saying that there are other thoughts rather than Fox News propaganda/bullying agenda “so called” news. We are all in this together. We believe in the same things, unless you really want Armageddon — I don’t believe in that. Our basic heart beat is one of decency.

Take courage friends,The way is often hard, the path is never clear,And the stakes are very high.Take courage.For deep down, there is another truth:You are not alone. ~Wyne B. Arnason, UU closing words

 Bill Larson Photos

Bernie Ellis introduces “UnCounted”

Producers describe UnCounted as “an explosive documentary that shows how the election fraud that changed the outcome of the 2004 election led to even greater fraud in 2006 — and now looms as an unbridled threat to the outcome of the 2008 election. This controversial film examines…how easy it is to change election outcomes and undermine election integrity…”

“There is still time to return to a verifiable system [such as paper ballots] for the 2008 presidential election,” Ellis said. Ellis, (at left with producer Patricia Earnhardt), is featured in this film. He noted that when issues arose with the e-machines in Maryland, the Republican governor of that state dumped the machines in favor of paper ballots in just seven weeks to guarantee the “integrity” of the election.

UnCounted details the long lines, missing machines, inaccuracies in tabulating votes, and the ways voting machines can be tampered with to affect tallies. The film documents long voting lines, missing and failed machines, and other occurrences in the 2000, 2004 and 2006 elections. It examines the relationship between companies such as Diebold, manufacturer of voting machines that serve millions of American voters, and elected officials including election commissions and federal and state officers whose decisions affect how Americans will cast their votes.

In Nashville, David Earnhardt said “buying a Krispy Kreme donut was better documented than our vote.” Our most vital right as as Americans is our right to vote, and that right is being eroded by the manipulation and malfunctioning of electronic voting machines, and there is no paper trail, no way to verify how votes were cast or tabulated.

Patricia Earnhardt (above right with display of UnCounted DVDs) introduced the film, noting that the Clarksville screening was only the second time this film has been shown in the state of Tennessee, though it has been screened in 39 other states and several other countries since its worldwide premiere in Nashville in November at the Belcourt Theater. That premiere played to a standing room only crowd, just as last night’s screening played to a full house. At both events, the film generated heavy comments and considerable questions in the post-film debate. Earnhardt also noted the absence of interest by mainstream media in this film, noting that Clarksville Online was the only media to cover the world premiere of Uncounted in Nashville.

For a state that tipped the scales on women’s suffrage and was pivotal in civil rights, Tennessee stands “eighth from bottom” on a list of states when it comes to election integrity, Ellis (at right) said. “[Election officials] say it is too late to change how we vote in this state. It is not. If Maryland can do it in seven weeks, we can too.”

Ellis noted that pivotal votes on the voting process are coming up on December 18 and urged this audience to contact their legislators and election commissioners to demand verifiable voting. Ellis is also creating a lending library of UnCounted DVDs that will be available at no cost to groups who want to screen this film.

Friday’s event was hosted by the Unitarian fellowship and sponsored by the FreeThinkers for Peace and Civil Liberties and Clarksville Online.

FreeThinkers founder Debbie Boen was “excited” over the turnout, voicing satisfaction that so many people are interested in the voting process and concerned about issues of voting and electronic machines. “This kind of turnout just fuels us, recharges us and makes us want to do more.”

Boen (at left) brought her sculpture, Bob, to the event, attaching a “trust me” sign about voting to this figure, which has been displayed in numerous art venues throughout Clarksville.

Clarksville Online Publisher Bill Larson, equally pleased with the success of the program, said that Clarksville sponsorship of this event, which was offered admission-free as a community service by all sponsoring groups, is just the first of a number of community programs Larson would endorse in the coming year. “This is part of what we give back to the community.”

Ellis wrapped up the event with recommended contacts and suggested actions for those interested in voicing their opinion about electronic voting.

Ellis urged anyone who wants to know more or wants to communicate with legislators on the issue to email him ( "> ) for an action packet and/or visit the web-site: www.votesafetn.org . More information is also available at ">.

Here is a preview of UnCounted: The Movie –

Click here to view the embedded video.

Additional photos from the Clarksville premiere of UnCounted:

A crowd gathered at the Unitarian Universalist Fellowship for the Clarksville screening of David Earnhardt’s film, UnCounted

Bernie Ellis (left) makes a point on e-voting

Many viewers lingered after the film to comment on the e-voting issue and question Ellis on the finer points in the film

Chris Lugo, candidate for U.S. Senate, who attended the Nashville premiere and the Clarksville screening, discusses the electronic voting issue

FreeThinkers founder Debbie Boen makes a point on e-voting

Photos by David Shelton and Christine Anne Piesyk