Topic: Movie review

The Day the Earth fell flat on its face

By David W. Shelton | December 13, 2008 |

To say that The Day the Earth Stood Still (hereafter DTESS) missed the point is the biggest understatement since a NASA official droned “Obviously a major malfunction” after the explosion of the space shuttle Challenger. Clearly, this is a film that has the dire hope that no one who watches it will have any memory of the 1951 classic of the same name. For those who have never seen the original, they might find themselves quietly wondering if something was missing from this film. In fact, if you’ve never seen the original, just stop reading right now and see the film at your own risk.

For the rest of us, though, this film represents everything that’s not only wrong with modern disaster films, but with American culture itself. DTESS clearly has a lofty series of goals it hopes to accomplish, yet achieves nothing more than one abject failure after another. It’s so bad that I found myself pulling my hair out, wondering why the hell I even bothered.

Surprisingly, very little of the blame can be squared against Keanu Reeves, who plays essentially the same character he’s done for the last dozen or so films. Distant and aloof? Check. Emotionless? Check. Superhero powers? Check. Acting ability? None needed. Perfect! He seems to be drawn to roles that have a not-so-subtle messianic nature to them – to the point that I’m beginning to wonder if he has a certain ego issue. Look for that oh-so-obvious walking on water. Yeah. He’s here to save the earth, but not the people on it. Hallelujah. «Read the rest of this article»

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Milk: gay history never looked better

By David W. Shelton | December 6, 2008 |

Thirty years after the assassination of Harvey Milk, the first openly-gay elected official, Focus Pictures has released Milk, an effective, if long overdue biopic of the slain official. The new film stars Sean Penn in the title role, and the Oscar buzz started long before its release.

For those who aren’t familiar with the story, Harvey Milk was elected to the San Francisco Board of Supervisors in 1977, and led the gay rights movement in that city. He was a business owner, running a small camera store in the Castro district, which is still a major American gay mecca. He served in his post for eleven months before being gunned down by a fellow former Supervisor who had just killed San Francisco Mayor George Moscone moments earlier.

The film succeeds on many levels, most notably with Penn’s performance. He is so absorbed by the character, that it’s easy to forget that we’re watching an actor, not the real man. What’s more, the supporting actors were all at their best, each one taking on a special role in the film. «Read the rest of this article»

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Bolt: barking up the right tree

By David W. Shelton | November 22, 2008 |

Walt Disney’s Bolt fills the need for a fun family film over the Thanksgiving holiday perfectly, and manages to provide solid entertainment for young and old. Imagine a film that’s a mix of The Truman Show (1998), Underdog (2007), and a little bit of Cats & Dogs (2001), and you pretty much have the plot for this new pound of pixelated puppy pleasure.

Bolt, directed by the dual team of Byron Howard and Chris Williams, tells the story of the title pooch who lives in a world where he actually believes that he is a super-powered dog with a constantly endangered master named Penny (Miley Cyrus), a girl whose father is kidnapped by the deliciously evil Dr. Calico (love those evil kitty references, especially when they’re voiced by Malcolm McDowell).

In true Disney style, all of the animals can talk when they’re not around humans, so Bolt ( voiced by John Travolta) is able to share verbal jabs with his feline nemeses (who are in on the act — they love to taunt their co-star, even though it’s all a TV show). «Read the rest of this article»

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Quantum of Solace misses the mark

By David W. Shelton | November 15, 2008 |

Daniel Craig returns as Bond in Quantum of Solace, the 22nd film of the long-running British film series, once again proving his ability to carry the weight of a role that’s already been played by nearly half a dozen other actors. Casino Royale (2006) successfully — and triumphantly — rebooted the tired Bond series with critics and audiences alike comparing Craig to Sean Connery, whom many consider to be the best of all of the Bonds. It’s a pity that Solace never fully emerges from Casino’s very long shadow.

Clearly, Craig’s performance as the womanizing sexist bastard who happens to be the world’s ultimate assassin is turning heads, with some critics even daring to commit the ultimate blasphemy by suggesting that Craig’s bond even outshines Connery’s.

This is not to say that Solace is a great film. In fact, even though it’s nearly non-stop action from start to finish, there’s very little time for the audience to breathe. Solace begins mere minutes after the events of Casino Royale, so if you haven’t refreshed your memory by watching Royale lately, you’re likely to be both confused and bewildered by the opening sequence of the film, if not the film itself. «Read the rest of this article»

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This “Mummy” should have stayed buried

By David W. Shelton | August 12, 2008 |

Before I spend any significant time in pontificating on just how bad The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (hereafter Mummy 3) really is, I should confess that I have a certain amount of fanboy affection for Brendan Fraser. It’s hard for me to not like one of his films. Alas, in the case of Mummy 3, the film really borders on a level of asinine that makes for downright painful viewing. Even my fondness for Fraser’s presence on the big screen doesn’t save this atrocity from the depths of total celluloid depravity.

Director Rob Cohen takes over the reins from Stephen Sommers, who helmed the first two films. Cohen’s style of storytelling clearly wanted to capture some of the apparent nostalgia of the first two Mummy films. Only there’s one big problem – it’s been a mere seven years since the last one, and the first two films really weren’t all that great to begin with.

I’ve long had a personal policy of spoiler-free reviews, but I’ll have to make an exception in this case because it’s just THAT bad. Try to imagine, if you can, a scene where massive, overly-animated Yeti pounce on the villains only to kick one of the poor heavies over a roof in an impromptu football field goal, with the obligatory referee’s hand sign. If you think such a scene is an exercise of brilliant humor, then there’s not really much hope for you—you’ll probably love this movie. The rest of us will roll our eyes nearly out of their sockets. «Read the rest of this article»

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From top forty to Broadway to silver screen, Mama Mia takes a chance on ABBA

By Christine Anne Piesyk | July 25, 2008 |

In the cyber shorthand of my grandchildren, OMG!!!

That was my first reaction to Mama Mia, the new pop music turned Broadway hit turned silver screen mega … something??? The OMG does not necessarily denote pleasure.

Mama Mia is a musical rooted in the Abba top-forty playlists of a few decades ago. And yes, the music was toe tapping and hummable, huge hits for the group. In Mama Mia, the music dominates the show; it’s the lynchpin upon which to hang a lightweight story that reaches for words like “rollicking” and “sentimental” and “exuberant” but never makes the real connection. Or rather, it makes it from time to time but doesn’t let you pause to enjoy it. The music goes beyond domination, rolling into subjugation, rather like a steam roller flattening everything in its path. Come on. We need breathing room to separate and tame this relentless tide of song. «Read the rest of this article»

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Hellboy II: heroes are red, lovers are blue

By David W. Shelton | July 19, 2008 |

The world that Hellboy II: The Golden Army (hereafter Hellboy 2) presents is one that is filled with images of the fantastic, the bizarre, and the mysterious. In this world, it’s the humans that are the outsiders, while the trolls, demons, and even the Angel of Death collaborate deliver a tale that’s part parable, part adventure, and part love story.

Hellboy and Hellboy 2 joins the long line of great films that were inspired by comic books, and is one of the few comic books that I never read during my collecting days. Perhaps this is a good thing, as the film is uncluttered by previous expectations of certain villains and characterizations that must be met. In my mind, Guillermo Del Toro, who wrote and directed this film, is free to tell whatever kind of story he can imagine.

While it’s not the masterpiece of Pan’s Labyrinth, Hellboy 2 is a deliberate fairy tale mixed in with a brilliant observation of the nature of man – as told though the eyes of monsters. No matter how strange the images on the image might be, the film is a probe of pinpoint accuracy of just what makes the hearts of men tick. «Read the rest of this article»

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The Dark Knight: perfection in every way

By David W. Shelton | July 18, 2008 |

When the closing credits rolled for The Dark Knight, I was left in stunned silence. In what is easily the best film of the year so far (and possibly one of the best in the last thirty years), director Christopher Nolan has delivered his shining star; a masterpiece that has set a new standard in crime dramas.

Oh, it’s a comic book adaptation? How I seem to forget that simple little thing. To be honest, it’s easy to forget that this complex, juicy, layered dissertation of the human condition is based on a nearly seventy-year-old comic book character that first began in the half-toned pages of Detective Comics back in November of 1939.

The Dark Knight, unlike Superman or Spider-Man 2 (which themselves were the best of their own genre), has completely emerged from not only from its paneled source material, but has soared into skyline of cinematic brilliance. «Read the rest of this article»

Sections: Arts and Leisure, Opinion | 1 Comment »

Hancock: big jerk, bigger mess

By David W. Shelton | July 3, 2008 |

In a summer where superheroes clearly have staked their territory, Hancock makes the biggest mess of all of them. The weird thing about this mess is that it’s what the film intended. Part superhero movie, part whacked-out theology, and part jerk-gets-redeemed story, Hancock has so many irons in the fire that the audience just doesn’t know what the hell is going on.

Director Peter Berg turns in a celluloid train wreck that’s filled with the overuse of the gutter version of “anus” to such an extent that it becomes a one-joke film. Okay, we get it. John Hancock (Will Smith) is a jerk. He’s the king of potholes, dodging airplanes, and sloshing around with a big bottle of booze. He’s homeless, and hates the world around him. Now, I don’t know if he’s a jerk because of these things, or that being a jerk led him to being  homeless, but frankly, I wasn’t really compelled to care.

I don’t know what it is about today’s filmmakers that feel the necessity to drive in the obvious (that Hancock is a jerk) to the point where even a headache would be a relief. The fact that the first time we hear the word is from a small child is supposed to be funny, but again, it’s stating the obvious. «Read the rest of this article»

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“Wanted” promises action; delivers

By David W. Shelton | July 3, 2008 |

Wanted, the new action film from Universal Pictures, is a crowd-pleasing action film that’s sure to keep the adrenaline pumped in audiences everywhere. Before I continue with this review, perhaps I should confess my own secret love for underdog-turned-badass movies since there’s that twelve-year-old in me that will never grow up.

Films like Wanted appeal to just that kid-on-the-cusp-of-adulthood mentality that most adult men share, driving all of us to wonder just what we’ve done with our lives. Since most of us who shell out our eight bucks to see this kind of movie aren’t interested in anything but violence, guts, sex, and profanity, director Timur Bekmambetov (with his first American film) delivers all of these elements within the first five minutes of the narrative.

That’s not to say it’s a bad movie, really. Bekmambetov’s style is clearly an attempt to capture the equally-adult comic book in film, a task which is largely successful. Having never read the comic (I know, they’re supposed to be called “graphic novels,” but frankly, I don’t care. They’re comics.), I was able to look at the film as its own entity. Since the vast majority of the film’s audience is equally ignorant of its source material, that’s probably a good thing. «Read the rest of this article»

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