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The Danger Of Unmet Expectations

Old Fashioned Thanksgiving Americans seem to have lost so much through the years and people yearn for simplicity and peaceful occasions. Many of us go looking for what we call “old fashioned” and “simple” ways of celebrating Thanksgiving so that we can recapture something we hope will fulfill us and our family. We often go to great lengths to find this fulfillment and very often our efforts end up in arguments or stressful confrontations in the family, overspending and profound sadness.

Holidays aren’t peaceful or simple if you find yourself strung out, worn out and tensed up over making the occasion into something that meets unrealistic expectations. I want to encourage you to let go of your expectations for a perfect Thanksgiving get-together this year and to redefine your ideas of what it means to have an old fashioned holiday.

What does an Old Fashioned Thanksgiving look like anyway? To most of us it means food and family but beyond that, what else does it mean? Perfectly decorated tables? An immaculate house? New furniture? Lots of going and doing? Shopping with family and friends? A quiet evening or two before the fireplace with family? To me it looks like the kind of Thanksgiving I experienced when I was a child at my Grandmother’s house.

It can, in part, mean any of those things but conspicuously missing from those descriptions is true thankfulness and the particular peace that heartfelt thankfulness brings to our lives.

It seems so easy for most of us to get busy and involved with making the perfect Thanksgiving celebration that we forget about the fact that Thanksgiving is a time of giving thanks to God for all our blessings.

When we set up a picture in our minds and make plans for a perfect Thanksgiving, we set up certain expectations. Expectations can be dangerous things to family harmony and peace.  Here is an unfortunate formula for sorrow that you may have used unknowingly in your own life;

Unmet Expectations = Discouragement

ThanksgivingThanksgiving and other holidays often leave us discouraged and frustrated with the people and preparations of the seasons. We somehow believe that because we spend money, time, thought and energy on preparations for these holidays that they must turn out a certain way.  When they don’t,  we are discouraged and frustrated and we show that by the way we treat our family members.

Everyone has their own idea of what constitutes an Old Fashioned Thanksgiving, but the main things that people think of when they think of a holiday being old fashioned are peace and simplicity. We can have those beautiful attributes in our present day celebration of Thanksgiving, if we focus our minds on what we are grateful for and on enjoying the people God sends into our lives. Certainly, go shopping, lay around the fireplace with family, play games, go for a walk. Do all of those things but do them with an attitude of thankfulness and with an eye on the fact that these luxuries are gifts from God.

When we think in those terms we become even more thankful for what we have. As you prepare for the Thanksgiving meal, don’t set yourself up for discouragement. Open your heart to God and allow Him to prepare it for giving thanks.

Focus your mind on serving others. Focus on people and being thankful for what God has given you. Then your Thanksgiving will be simple, sweet and truly old fashioned. No matter what happens, no matter if things don’t go perfectly and according to plan, you will have thankfulness and peace in your heart. That is the very best kind of old fashioned Thanksgiving there is.

Sylvia Britton
Sylvia Brittonhttp://www.christianhomekeeper.org
Sylvia Britton is a Clarksville native and owner of the Christian HomeKeeper™ Network website and ministry. She and her husband Mark are the parents of 5 children and grandparents to two little girls.  She enjoys reading, mentoring women, writing articles for several magazines, gardening and Tennessee history.
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