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Nope to Soap

By Greg Lee | June 9, 2011 |

Semi-daily preaching by a Semi-daily Preacher on a semi-daily basis

Greg Lee as Brother Preacher

In Job chapter 9 verses 30-31 it says:

“Even if I washed myself with soap
and my hands with cleansing powder,
you would plunge me into a slime pit
so that even my clothes would detest me.”

Let’s face it, Job was in a pretty crummy mood. I don’t blame him. I won’t go into it all right now, but trust me, if ANYbody had a reason to be fussy, it was Job. It’s not everyday you wake and find yourself locked into a betting match between the Lord of the Universe and Satan and in the process lose everything you ever had, everyone you ever loved and the ability to sit down without poppin’ something unmentionable. And all you did to deserve this awful treatment, was everything RIGHT.

But from this passage we can deduce that things were even worse for Job than many of us knew. According to this passage, even Job’s “Tub Time” was being affected. This is where I draw the line. This is going to far. Mess with MY “Tub Time”…it’s ON.

Take away my stuff, kill off my family, cover me with boils but if I can’t get a decent, refreshing cleaning in after my workout and ANOTHER ONE right before I roll into bed at night – well…let’s just say I wouldn’t be as nice as Job was. I can get “testy” real fast when I’m dirty for more than 10 hours.

I love showers. I love baths. For me, a bubble bath and a book with some candles and maybe some…oh never mind. No need to go into all THAT here. I wish I knew how to delete text on this thing. Anyhow…

Bottom line: Showers and baths are the life line for Preachers. If you are a Preacher I can already hear you saying “Amen”. If you AREN’T a Preacher, I’m probably not listening to you.

You see, Preachers spend a lot of time with something called: people. People have what is called: “stuff” all over them. If you’re not careful, this “stuff” WILL get on YOU.

This is the problem with all the holy hand shakin’ and Christian huggin’ that goes on during the Preacher’s day. By the end of a day it can be downright disgusting. You’re covered with dried lipstick, and clown make-up and baby goo all over ya. It’s one reason I support the “Holy Wave and Grin” instead.

COME ON, people. Stop touchin’ me.

So like a lot of Preacher’s do and apparently what Job liked to do, I like to get a nice, hot, CLEANSING bath goin’ after bein’ with the masses. But unfortunately for Job, he couldn’t even get THAT goin’.

Why? Let’s look again at the passage.

“Even if I washed myself with soap
and my hands with cleansing powder,
you would plunge me into a slime pit
so that even my clothes would detest me.”

Apparently the soap Job was using wasn’t working. He couldn’t get clean. His own clothes turned on him. Which can only mean one thing:

JOB wasn’t using ZEST.

I take a lot of grief for my Zest. I don’t care. Zest is the best. Hands down. Shut up. Get that DIAL away from me.

Which brings me to my OWN Job-like grumpiness this morning.

I’m not sure what went wrong. We’re traveling. There was the move. Who knows? My wife Gidget assured me the soap in the shower this morning was Zest. But when I got there, all I could find was something called “body wash”, which I do NOT use (I’m a Preacher not a runway model), and a bar of what WANTED to be Zest but after several attempts of igniting a good lather clearly WAS NOT!

It’s been a tough morning.

Ever tried to Bleach (blog-preach) while you still have that “filmy” non-ZEST soap residue all over you? Like Job, even my clothes are detesting me. I am detesting me.
I can’t even stretch my arms out without my skin cracklin’ with dried soap scum.

I might as well go roll in a slime pit.

I hope this helped.

Dare to be a Job! Buy ZEST.

As together we stand and sing.

About Greg Lee

Greg Lee

For five years, Greg was host and contributing producer of the Emmy and Peabody award-winning PBS show, “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?” He also hosted Nickelodeon’s “Total Panic”, the ESPN music video show “Max Out”, several segments of NBC’s “Inside Stuff” with Ahmad Rashad, and a number of specials for the premium movie channel SHOWTIME. For 6 years he co-hosted the NBA’s “Stay In School Spectacular” for NBC, working with Sinbad, Queen Latifa, Mary J. Blige, Heavy D, Kid N Play, Boys II Men, Salt N Peppa, and Wil Smith.

As an actor, Greg appeared on “The George Lopez Show”, “The District”, “The Drew Carey Show”, “Newsradio”, “Mad About You”, “Sesame Street”, “Ghost Writer”, and “World Cup Comedy” as well as many TV and radio commercials for Honday, Subaru, Nestle’s, Southwest Airlines, Office Depot, Delta Airlines, Dell Computers, Buick, Mitsubishi, Sprint, McDonald’s, Charles Schwab and others.

Greg received strong reviews for his portrayal of a crazed acting teacher in the play ACTOR! at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. He starred in the independent films “Interviewing GOD”, “Chaos Theory”, appeared with Katharine Ross in “Eye Of The Dolphin”, and it’s sequel, “Way Of The Dolphin”. This year he produced and starred in the short comedy film, “Killer”, which he also wrote.

For over eight years he was the voice of Principal (Mayor) White on the Award-winning cartoon, DOUG. He’s voiced several episodes of “The E! Hollywood True Story”, two Documentaries, the video cartoon series “Hoop Dogs”, and a video for the “Sundance Institute” with Robert Redford.

After sharing the stage with such notable improvisers as Fred Willard, Wayne Brady, and Edie McClure, Greg went on to share his improvisation-based creative training course, “Throw The Bunny”, for MATTEL, Disney, IDEO, Proctor & Gamble, The American Film Institute, J.W. Tumbles and Old Nave to high acclaim.

As a writer, Greg worked on the award-wining cartoon, DOUG, P.B. & J. OTTER, The Sundance Channel, MATTEL, The Longaberger Company, Disney, PBS, ESPN ZONE, J.W. Tumbles, Proctor & Gamble, Lucastudios and FOX. He co-created and wrote an original children’s television series entitled, SCOOBS, for The Britt Allcroft Company of Thomas The Tank Engine fame. He wrote, produced and performed three one-man shows entitled, Satan’s In The Toaster, Converstational Insanity, and When Bad Things Happen to Good Sermons. He currently writes and performs for the stage show TOKENS, and recently toured with The Apostles Of Comedy. Greg has written and produced music for Nickelodeon, Disney, PBS and MATTEL, and is currently recording a collection of his own original music in Nashville.

Greg was been involved in both television and stage show development with Nickelodeon, Disney, Jumbo Pictures, Klutz Toys, Cartoon Pizza, Nelvana, The Britt Allcroft Company and country music legend, Marty Stewart.

Web Site: http://brotherpreachercantype.blogspot.com/
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