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Gidget: Marriage Guru

 

Semi-daily preaching by a Semi-daily Preacher on a semi-daily basis

Greg Lee as Brother Preacher

Greg Lee as Brother Preacher

Sometimes Gidget scares me to death. 

The other day my wife, Gidget, started tellin’ me about this time, a few years ago, when the two of us went on a vacation to Peru.  We met some friends there, went hiking, saw Machu Picchu, and then later ate some fried bananas on a beach. 

While we were there, she got food poisoning, and I got a pretty bad sunburn that landed both of us in the Emergency Room. 

It all ended OK though, when the Doctor who treated us both, offered to let us stay at his Villa that overlooked the ocean for nothing for 2 weeks.  Despite the 2 days of illness, it was without a doubt, a trip of a lifetime.

Unfortunately, I had absolutely NO memory of this trip whatsoever.  I was terrified.  Naturally, I assumed I was experiencing early stages of something terrible. 

So I started popping vitamin C and fish pills like they were Skittles.  Then I started making “sticky” notes to remind me who Gidget was and who I was and where I lived and then slapped the notes all over the house. 

I was devastated.

Then a couple of weeks later, I was telling a friend the sad tale of how I had absolutely NO memory of this clearly fantastic trip to Peru with my wife, when Gidget walked in.

“What are you talking about?”  she said.

“I’m telling Bruce about that trip to Peru I can’t remember being on.”

“Peru?” she said.  “You were never on a trip to Peru!  That was me and my SISTER!  I got food poisoning and she got this really bad sunburn.  Terrible.  Why on earth would you think you went on that trip?”

She’s going to drive me nuts.

She does the same thing with movies I’ve never seen, books I’ve never read, and dogs we’ve either had or not had.

“What do you MEAN you don’t remember Fluffy? He went to Peru with us!  Fluffy LOVED Machu Picchu.”

Sometimes Gidget will suddenly rearrange everything in the kitchen cupboards for no reason, making me feel like I’m visiting an old friend’s house for the first time.  I recognize the dishes, but have NO idea where I found them or what they’re for. 

She’ll put the bath towels where we used to keep the drill.  The drill ends up in the freezer next to the frozen peas.

One time I went to get the checkbook and found a drawer full of yarn.  You can’t pay bills with yarn.

Then last night I crawled into bed next to her and she said,

“You’re feet are so ROUGH!  They feel like sweat socks!  You have GOT to start using some lotion, or get a pedicure, or BOTH!”

I felt terrible, apologized profusely and then sang her to sleep. 

Then I reached down and took off my SOCKS, revealing my perfectly smooth, gorgeous feet.

I was so confused I couldn’t sleep for 2 hours.

The good news is this kind of thing can be great for a marriage.  Makes you feel like a newlywed and an Alzheimer’s patient all at the same time.  Either way, you really start paying attention to each other again.  You HAVE to, otherwise you’ll never find the towels. 

Its kinda like dating again – if you dated somebody who kept hiding your coffee mug from you, and told you that you used to work on an alligator farm.  Every day is a new day to be spent trying to figure out who the heck you’re married to now.

I love Gidget.

She’s going to drive me NUTS, but I love her.

As together we stand and sing.

BP


About Greg Lee

    Greg Lee

    For five years, Greg was host and contributing producer of the Emmy and Peabody award-winning PBS show, “Where In The World Is Carmen Sandiego?” He also hosted Nickelodeon’s “Total Panic”, the ESPN music video show “Max Out”, several segments of NBC’s “Inside Stuff” with Ahmad Rashad, and a number of specials for the premium movie channel SHOWTIME. For 6 years he co-hosted the NBA’s “Stay In School Spectacular” for NBC, working with Sinbad, Queen Latifa, Mary J. Blige, Heavy D, Kid N Play, Boys II Men, Salt N Peppa, and Wil Smith.

    As an actor, Greg appeared on “The George Lopez Show”, “The District”, “The Drew Carey Show”, “Newsradio”, “Mad About You”, “Sesame Street”, “Ghost Writer”, and “World Cup Comedy” as well as many TV and radio commercials for Honday, Subaru, Nestle’s, Southwest Airlines, Office Depot, Delta Airlines, Dell Computers, Buick, Mitsubishi, Sprint, McDonald’s, Charles Schwab and others.

    Greg received strong reviews for his portrayal of a crazed acting teacher in the play ACTOR! at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood. He starred in the independent films “Interviewing GOD”, “Chaos Theory”, appeared with Katharine Ross in “Eye Of The Dolphin”, and it’s sequel, “Way Of The Dolphin”. This year he produced and starred in the short comedy film, “Killer”, which he also wrote.

    For over eight years he was the voice of Principal (Mayor) White on the Award-winning cartoon, DOUG. He’s voiced several episodes of “The E! Hollywood True Story”, two Documentaries, the video cartoon series “Hoop Dogs”, and a video for the “Sundance Institute” with Robert Redford.

    After sharing the stage with such notable improvisers as Fred Willard, Wayne Brady, and Edie McClure, Greg went on to share his improvisation-based creative training course, “Throw The Bunny”, for MATTEL, Disney, IDEO, Proctor & Gamble, The American Film Institute, J.W. Tumbles and Old Nave to high acclaim.

    As a writer, Greg worked on the award-wining cartoon, DOUG, P.B. & J. OTTER, The Sundance Channel, MATTEL, The Longaberger Company, Disney, PBS, ESPN ZONE, J.W. Tumbles, Proctor & Gamble, Lucastudios and FOX. He co-created and wrote an original children’s television series entitled, SCOOBS, for The Britt Allcroft Company of Thomas The Tank Engine fame. He wrote, produced and performed three one-man shows entitled, Satan’s In The Toaster, Converstational Insanity, and When Bad Things Happen to Good Sermons. He currently writes and performs for the stage show TOKENS, and recently toured with The Apostles Of Comedy. Greg has written and produced music for Nickelodeon, Disney, PBS and MATTEL, and is currently recording a collection of his own original music in Nashville.

    Greg was been involved in both television and stage show development with Nickelodeon, Disney, Jumbo Pictures, Klutz Toys, Cartoon Pizza, Nelvana, The Britt Allcroft Company and country music legend, Marty Stewart.

    Web Site: http://brotherpreachercantype.blogspot.com/
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