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Monday, June 5, 2023


Larry DunlapMy friend, Leonard had cornered me at The Pour House Café and asked for my help in writing a song.

“Ok, Leonard,” I said, “just what kind of song are you writing?”

“A protest song, I want to write a protest song.”

I hesitated, but knew I had to ask. “What are you protesting, Leonard?”

“Indoor toilets, that’s what, indoor toilets!”

Well, as you can imagine, that caught me by surprise. I stared at him for a moment or two and thought I’d better make sure I heard him right.

“Now let me get this straight, Leonard, you want to write a song protesting indoor toilets? Is that right?”

“You got it. One of the worst things this country ever did…putting toilets in the house where you eat and sleep.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Well, I heard a report on TV the other day how that germs from the bathroom were found all thru the house. On toothbrushes, hairbrushes, kitchen stuff…you name it.”

I looked down at my plate of  eggs and ham and suddenly lost my appetite. I shoved the plate away and shook my head.

“Leonard, you have spoiled a perfectly good breakfast. I really don’t think this is something to discuss while people are eating. Let’s talk about this some other place, alright?”

Leonard looked puzzled. He didn’t connect his subject matter with his surroundings and see how inappropriate it was.

“Alright, but look at what I’ve got so far, ok?”

Against my better judgement  I took the sheet of paper he handed me and began to read.

    BY Leonard Tubbs

    There’s something in your house that ought not be
    And something really oughta be done.
    The thing we call the throne
    Shouldn’t  be found in your home
    Everyone should have an outdoor john.


    So, take it out
    Don’t let the liberals run your life.
    Take it out
    For the health of your children and your wife.
    Bill and Hillary have got several
    So, that oughta make us careful,
    Don’t let the liberals run your life
    Take it out.

Leonard looked at me, searching for my reaction.

“Well, what do you think,” he asked?

I thought a moment, then thought some more. What do you say to that?

“Leonard, you have outdone yourself. This is the most unusual  song I have ever seen.”

“You liked it?”

“Well, liked is a rather objective word. Let’s just say you have taken an ordinary subject to extraordinary places.”

“I’m not finished with it yet. It will have more verses and a bridge. I’m gonna get right in it.”

I started to say something and changed my mind. How do you reply to that?

“Leonard, why don’t we continue this next time we meet?”

The waitress came over and asked me if I was through with my breakfast.

I handed her my plate and said, “Honey, I’m through with breakfast and maybe dinner too.”

(To be continued)


Larry Dunlaphttp://
I was born at home before the doctor could make it. The place was Blue Springs,Ms. I have done may things in my life. I grew up farming then worked in a furniture factory, print shop, newspaper, car dealership, radio station, preached and book publishing. It's amazing a man could do all of that and not learn any more than I have. I now live in Pleasant View, Tn with my wife of 43 years, Dottie and a very arrogant little dog, Ousi. I am presently employed by Thomas Nelson Publishers in Nashville and serve as interim pastor for a church in Franklin, Tn.

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