Clarksville, TN – Some people expect too much. Some would even like the world dipped in chocolate and spoon fed to them. Frankly, there are times when we all expect too much. We would love for our homes to be picture perfect, our kids to be genius world-class athletes, and our pie to be fat free.
But then there are other times, when we should expect more. And we don’t. Don’t settle for bronze, or even fool’s gold when you deserve the real thing!
Here are some times not to settle:
Holidays – They won’t be perfect. Kids might act up. People might upset you. The gifts might not be what you hoped for. But you deserve for your significant other to willingly spend time with you on holidays when he or she can (barring military service, work or emergencies). Going to the bar with a friend, is not an emergency. Being a jerk is not okay.
Gifts & Generosity – I have never heard anyone complain about a love note or a handmade gift. It’s not about how much money someone spends; it truly is about the thought. Conversely, if he or she makes a decent living and money is not tight, they could put a little away in advance to buy a card, a small gift or even a cake. I recall a man in my life that was always “broke” when my birthdays came around. Finally I realized that my birthday comes the same day every year and a little planning would have gone a long way to make me feel cherished. The way he or she talks to you – Some people are not as verbal about their feelings. There are many ways to show love. But the same person who says they aren’t “lovey dovey and emotional” shouldn’t be talking down to you, calling you names or embarrassing you. As a mother, I would never be okay with a person who did that to my children either.
Flirting & Cheating – Some say they are okay with “innocent flirting.” I say there is no such thing. Actions follow thought, therefore they have intent. Flirting may lead to texting or emailing, which may lead to lunch and talking, which may lead to more. Nothing “just happens.” If you have lowered expectations in this area and do not expect your spouse to have clear and respectful boundaries, you might be setting up your marriage for disaster.
His or her willingness to work on the relationship – Every guy or gal cares about something. Some pour money into their “stuff” while others pour time into their hobbies. A couple should spend more time maintaining their marriage than maintaining the car or home. No one is too busy for marriage counseling, church or to read a book on marriage.
For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. – Matthew 6.21
My marriage is far from perfect. But after enduring a difficult divorce (aren’t they all?), I decided to change my expectations and go for gold…a man who believes in the golden rule and who will love me into my golden years. I don’t expect perfection, but I do expect honesty, love and respect. But remember: A good marriage takes effort from both people, and a constant focus on Him.
Are you a proud ‘gold digger’? What is keeping you from going for gold?