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Kris Wolfe: Ever Felt Like You Didn’t Fit In?

Child Making a Funny FaceClarksville, TN – We all have something about us that seems odd to those around us, and even more odd to ourselves. I was always envious of girls who did girly things and actually enjoyed them. Many times, I have thought it would be easier to be like other women. Sometimes, I still do, especially when I suspect that I am giving them my crazy-eye-what-in-the-world-look. It’s just easier to fit in.

I’ve known I was weird since I was about 5 or 6. I wasn’t a girl’s girl. I liked the Dukes of Hazard cars better than Barbies (her stupid shoes wouldn’t stay on). I was good at math. I didn’t have crushes on random actors or singers. I couldn’t sing along to NKOTB or Guns and Roses (I preferred John Cougar Mellancamp and Billy Ocean). I never squealed or clapped, or hopped on my tippy toes when I saw my friend that I just saw last week (or last period).  I don’t like bunko, or girly parties, or hugging people I just met. My sense of humor is odd, sometimes questionable, and sometimes delirious.

I was trying to figure out why I am weird.  I trace it to my mom and my grandma. My grandma worked in a factory. She built parts for torpedoes. She was a single mom in the 60’s and 70’s. She didn’t wear make up. She wore very sensible shoes (and a lot of elastic) and she bought things because they served a purpose. Never did a knickknack clutter her end table. She wasn’t like the other grandmas.

My mom was in the Air Force. She was an expert shot. My mom was fierce, often recognized for her hard work as Non-Commissioned Officer. She taught me how to make my breakfast at age 5, my lunch at age 6, and how to look up the spelling of any word, and the meaning of any term.  She is the reason why if you ask me a “lazy” question, I will promptly tell you to Google it. When the other moms were slathering on beauty cream, she was half way around the world serving our country. She wasn’t like other moms.

There are things about us that are just meant to be and are planned by God, things that serve a purpose. We do not make ourselves. God made us, because we have work to do:

Now God has us where he wants us, with all the time in this world and the next to shower grace and kindness upon us in Christ Jesus. Saving is all his idea, and all his work. All we do is trust him enough to let him do it. It’s God’s gift from start to finish! We don’t play the major role. If we did, we’d probably go around bragging that we’d done the whole thing! No, we neither make nor save ourselves. God does both the making and saving. He creates each of us by Christ Jesus to join him in the work he does, the good work he has gotten ready for us to do, work we had better be doing. (Ephesians 2:7-10, Italics mine)

Overtime (and some spiritual maturity) I have come to see the value of my candor, my weird sense of humor and my ability to relate to guys almost as well as girls.

When Byron and I lead couples or counsel couples, I can speak to both the man and woman together, and translate things for them that they have been struggling to effectively communicate for months.  I can see how genuinely confused he is by her higher emotional plane. I can see them both trying to love each other desperately, but falling short, and feeling small when all they want is to offer each other happiness. A girly girl might not get that.

God is using my awkwardness for something bigger than me. Better yet, He probably doesn’t see the awkward that I sometimes feel. He made me, so I better be okay with who I am!

Now I am raising the fourth generation of strange ducks, and what a joy it is! I love watching my older son with his way-too-frank-face look at us all square in the eye and deliver the hard truths. I love watching my younger son make up rap songs about fruit, write stories about aliens, and hug almost-strangers. I can’t wait to see what is on God’s to-do list for them! Whatever it is, I pray they rock it.

In our house, being weird is prep school for work in God’s kingdom!

What is weird and wonderful about you?

Kris Wolfe
Kris Wolfehttp://www.morningglorydevo.com/
Kris Wolfe is a Christian, wife and mother. Kris is a freelance writer who focuses on spiritual and practical encouragement. Kris also writes lessons for small group purposes for churches and is a small group coach.  Kris has a master’s degree in Biblical Counseling from Luther Rice University and Seminary and is a listed TN Supreme Court Rule 31 Mediator. Kris covers topics such as dating, marriage, parenting, divorce, post-divorce recovery, and the blended family. Read more from Kris Wolfe at MorningGloryDevo.com or follow on Twitter @MrsKrisWolfe
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