Clarksville, TN – You said you weren’t making any more resolutions, but you know that’s a lie. You’ve got goals and plans, and there’s no better way than a New Year’s resolution to announce your plans to the world. But let me warn you, some plans are better left unmade. Here are 5 resolutions you should reconsider.
To Lose Weight–Yes, I know, losing weight by exercising and eating right is healthy for many of us, but be careful of your motive. If you are trying to get your ex back, look better than your secret nemesis, or just plain “look smokin’ hot: beware. This resolution will fail. Resolutions based in vanity or competition rarely last, and you might end up feeling worse about yourself than when you started.Instead–Find some positive motivation like having more energy for your family, or regaining your confidence. Find the daily encouragement by looking for small improvements in your sleep, your moods, your energy and your overall health. Celebrate those improvements and more will follow!
To show “them” or seek revenge–Okay, someone underestimated you, let your down, or plum broke your heart. Now you want to show them what you are made of. As we say in our house, you better check yourself, before you wreck yourself. Often when we are out to prove something about who we are, we veer so far off track, we forget who we are. When we live to prove ourselves to other, we are in danger of losing ourselves in the process.
Instead–Pray for them and forgive them. Forgiveness will allow you to move on and prayer will help you get there. Focus on your relationship with God and live for Him instead. He will not leave you or forsake you.
To be perfect (at anything)–Please, for the love of Pete, do not tell yourself that you will do _____________ everyday, or never do _____________ again. When you fail, you will be devastated and feel like a failure. Resolutions are big and unachievable. Goals, on the other hand, have smaller objectives. If you aim for perfection you will find yourself making the same useless resolutions year after year, and never achieving them.
Instead–Break a big goal into smaller pieces of attainable (but not ridiculously easy) objectives. Share your plan with someone who will encourage you, and set checkpoints for yourself every month to 90 days and where you would like to be. Chart your progress in writing!
Goals for other people–Do not tell other people what their resolutions should be. It’s like taking a hubble telescope and shoving it in their face and saying, “I see everything wrong with you!” If you make a resolution as a couple, or as a family, you will not be successful unless everyone else sees the value of achieving the goal.
Instead–Ask your spouse or kids what their goals are for themselves or the family. Don’t expect them to get excited about everything you are passionate about without getting their buy-in first.
Instead–Ask yourself, have I done everything? Have we done everything? Has God released me from this marriage? If you have any doubts, then stick it out. Marriage was never designed to be easy. If it seems easy, you’re not trying hard enough. And remember, the grass may seem greener on the other side, but it didn’t get there without TLC. If your spouse is willing, start counseling, find a church and/or small group, and sign up for a marriage retreat.
If your motives are selfish, overly altruistic, rooted in bitterness, or just too BIG, then back up the crazy truck! You do not have to get caught in this, “I suck at life trap” again. Get real with yourself, have a few (or more) convos with the “Man upstairs” and make a goal or two that is worth its salt. Let’s not make a Regretalution that will have you hanging your head low in March!
Note: If you are in an abusive or dangerous marriage, please seek professional help.